You are one in a million,

worth more than a friend to me,

we are not married but yet you stay with me both in good and bad times,

you go with me every where i go,

i love you when you are slim but i love you more when you are fat 

because the more fat you are, the more i can flaunt you and take pride in you among my friends.

without you i can't go anywhere,

without you i can't do anything or buy anything,

when you are with me i know i have everything,

whenever i go out without you, i feel incomplete,

i know i dont take care of you like you desire,

i know i treat you like you are nothing a lot of times

but one thing i do know for sure is

you mean a lot to me 

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..................MY WALLET.............................

So you thought it was a love letter to HER, got you ..................