Marriage is honourable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge... were the affirmations of the LORD from the book of Hebrews 13:4. “Marriage is honourable among all” shows that marriage is not the only thing; but the most honourable. It therefore means that every marriage should be established on certain codes of honour for its blissfulness and its fulfilment.
Marriage is not any human’s idea; hence, the secrets of blissful marriage cannot be learnt in the schools or institutions of men. The best marriages are not man-made; but God-made: For God established marriage Himself.
According to the book of Genesis 1:26, the Scripture says, “Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness;...” If you observe closely, you would realize that God used some words that connotes that He was not acting as a unit; but a unity. “Us”, “Our image”, “Our likeness” informs us that although we are individuals, we are One, in purpose, identity and power. That is Marriage! God instituted marriage and He is the perfect model of marriage.
If you consider the composition of man, you will realize that a man is made up of spirit, soul and body; yet the three are inseparable – that is marriage. True marriage is not a contract that can be terminated or dissolved. True marriage is not about two people that fulfil two agendas in two different ways – instead, true marriage is for life and for a purpose.
Beyond that, it is important that the single brothers and sisters that desire this covenant of life as a one entity, to get a few things into them, before they get married; the things are listed briefly below:
1. Get Purpose:
Marriage is not about two; but about one – the two shall become one. And really, nothing helps two people to become one faster than purpose. Before you get married, you must get the purpose for your living, which the marriage is expected by God to fulfil. This is especially true for the men. However, if the Lord is the architect of your union; the purpose of God for a sister should be aligned with that of the brother. I am of the opinion that if the two of you really know why God has created and formed you in your family, and nation – your marriage is supposed to make your purpose one. The point is, your purpose as brother and the purpose of the sister must together form a single sense in God. God is bringing you two together for the purpose; hence, the quickest step to knowing God’s will for your life partner is to know your own purpose for living.
2. Get Matured:
“Through wisdom is a house built, and by understanding it is established; by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.” – Proverbs 24:3-4. Marriage will not stand if the two coming together lack wisdom, knowledge and understanding. Marriage is not about age; but about the right accumulation of the required wisdom, knowledge and understanding. Maturity is about tolerance, patience, faithfulness, joy, peace, love, long-suffering, goodness and self-control. Maturity is not being right all the time; nor is it about having your way all the time – but by understanding issues and responding in understanding. True riches comes from your maturity; therefore, don’t just seek to get rich; seek to get matured – riches will follow!
3. Get Prepared:
The best indicator of expectation is preparation. Therefore, don’t tell me how expectant you are about getting married; I will know your expectation by your preparation. Today, emphasis is on a glorious wedding – yet, marriage is the days, weeks, months and years beyond the wedding. Be wise!
4. Get Values:
The more you are clear about your purpose, the more you will be clear about your values. Your values include your life guards and guides – the principles that you cannot compromise on. And your values include your gifts, unique strengths and capabilities. Before you get married, be clear about all of them.
5. Get Busy:
According to the book of Proverbs 14:23, “In all labour there is profit, but idle chatter leads only to poverty.” You may not be where you saw yourself in (your vision); and you may not be doing all what you desired to be doing (your mission); however, you must get busy where you are with what you have. Don’t wait to be a great man or woman before you attempt great things. Get to work for your greatness to come!