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Gboyega AdedejiGboyega Adedeji
Mentored By Jesus Christ | Writer | Inspiring Speaker | Publisher | Coach | Builder | FOUNDER @ Fridayposts, Hubpile, Witicles| President/CEO at Centre for New Dimension Le
Joined 9 years ago
From Bwari, Abuja - Nigeria
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The 2 Legs that Hold Up and Sustain Effective Marriages: What Most Marriages Start With But Many Lose Overtime

By Gboyega Adedeji       Sep 22, 2022

The 2 Legs that Hold Up and Sustain Effective Marriages: What Most Marriages Start With But Many Lose Overtime

In this piece we want to look at something important in the next few minutes. We want to consider The Two Legs that Hold Up and Sustain Effective Marriage. And I want us to understand the implication of the usage of the word “The.” It is a definite article/word which identifies a particular thing. When you talk about “the something” it simply means there are no two, it is just that thing. Do we understand? So, we want to look at the Two Legs; I believe they are not more than two. Somebody may be wondering, why are you so bold about this? But when we are done, you would have known why I am so bold, it is so obvious. We will be connecting things together by the help of the Holy Spirit.


Let us start our meditation together from the book of 1 Samuel 1:1-7. It is a familiar story and Scripture as well. See what the Bible says:


Now there was a certain man of Ramathaim Zophim, of the mountains of Ephraim, and his name was Elkanah the son of Jeroham, the son of Elihu, the son of Tohu, the son of Zuph, an Ephraimite. 2 And he had two wives: I am sure we know we are talking about marriage, and this man (Elkanah) took marriage to another level. The Bible says he had two wives. Now let us continue to find out the lessons we have in this story. It says: “…the name of one was Hannah…” Now, if we may want to look at it, by the law of first mention, Hannah is the first wife. Because for instance, in Yoruba land, if you marry ten wives, the first wife becomes the senior wife and she is like the queen of the entire family. Now let us read further


“…and the name of the other Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah had no children. 3 This man went up from his city yearly to worship and sacrifice to the Lord of hosts in Shiloh. Also, the two sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas, the priests of the Lord, were there. 4 And whenever the time came for Elkanah to make an offering, he would give portions to Peninnah his wife and all her sons and daughters. 5 But to Hannah he would give a double portion, for he loved Hannah, although the Lord had closed her womb. 6 And her rival also provoked her severely, to make her miserable, because the Lord had closed her womb. 7 So it was, year by year, when she went up to the house of the Lord, that she provoked her; therefore, she wept and did not eat.”


Perhaps this was the usual practice of Hannah. She was always weeping every time Peninah made her life miserable through provocation. But look at it. The first wife that was mentioned that had children, Peninah, the Bible says, the husband would give portions to her and her sons. But to Hannar, he would give a double-portion. Now, this was a woman who didn't have children, but she was married to a man called Elkanah. And if children define marriage, you could say she was not married. But her marriage was evident to us by a proposition from that same verse. Why was Hannah eligible for a double portion from her husband? The Bible says, for he loved Hannah, although the Lord had closed her womb even though the Lord had closed her womb, her husband loved her. From here, if we want to look at the two legs now, the first leg is loudly presented to us and it is LOVE.


Now, picture yourself standing on two legs, you could call the right leg Love. Even though love is something that we consider to be important and weighty, it will be a difficult job for one leg to carry me all alone or move me from point A to point B. So, love is not enough, that is why we are looking at the two legs. Now, we can see that even though this woman didn’t have children yet, the husband loved her. So now, let us look the two legs very well. This Scripture just showed us how we can see the two legs from a perspective of a story in the Bible.


In Genesis chapter 2 verses 18 to 25 showed us how the two legs unfolded again. See what the Bible says:


18 And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” 19 Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam, there was not found a helper comparable to him. We are talking about marriage, and the Bible is making us realize that for Adam marriage was almost about two things, but it was not going to stand on those two things.


Now, we are talking about marriage and the Bible here made us to understand that for Adam, marriage was about two things. It was about things but it was not going to stand on those two things. It was just about it. The first thing, God said: “It is not good that a man should be alone.” The first thing God feels and believes marriage is meant for is to address the matter of loneliness. Of course, it's not standing on it, but it is meant for it — purpose and identity. So, the identity of marriage deals with addressing loneliness. And the Bible says but for Adam, there was not found a helper comparable to him. So, for Adam, marriage would mean God providing a helper unto him. So, he needed companionship and help. Hence, you can define marriage based on those two things. What God created to address those two issues, the issues of companionship and help. Let us look further at the legs from verse 21.


21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept, and He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh in its place. 22 Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. God was done with His work and God brought the end result of His work to the Man. 23 And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman Because she was taken out of Man.” 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.


Let’s look again at verse 23 and bring it to our contemporary time. Suddenly, as a young man, you are going or seated somewhere, and you saw a lady that looked like she had just fallen from heaven fully prepared and packaged, and in your thought, she is just for you. You are seeing something that you have not seen before, is this a human being or an angel? That is a way we can explain what happened to Adam. In the case of Adam after God was done making the woman, He brought up to him. As far as I was concerned, this was dropping out of heaven, even though she was so beautiful, Adam identifies certain things in her. He said, This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman Because she was taken out of me.”


Wow, I've never seen something like this before. How do you explain such an expression? It sounds like admiration. It looks like somebody that likes something, but it's more than a likeness; it is love. People talk about love at first sight, Adam saw a creature of God and he fell in love. God brought many creatures to Adam, God created those animals, they were not bad. But he didn't fall in love with any one of them. The Bible says, “But for Adam, there was none found for him.” It means there was a search for a helper among those things. None was appealing to Adam because none was taken out of him to be formed of God.


So, the first leg that marriage really rest on and is sustained by is love. Whether you call it love at first sight, thirtieth sight, or whatever. The only way you can explain the love for a woman is by saying, ‘she is taken from me. What do you do to yourself? You love yourself? You have just seen an expression of yourself outside of you, and you just love her. We always believe we are fine. When God wants to really make us to express or to relate in the attitude of love, God decides that in marriage, the man you will marry is a man that you were taking out of and the woman you will marry is a woman that was taken out of you. So, there is part of you in her you have to love her.


I'm not sure if you have ever found any marriage; whether the ones that break up or the ones that are struggling or the ones that are doing fine that never started with love — whether it was fake or true love? Every relationship needs love to start. No matter how you criticize people, people hardly criticize themselves. That's why if you begin to see a marriage that the foundation begins with love, you will understand what God is doing by making sure you don't marry a man who does not love you as a woman. And you never marry a woman that you don't love. How do you cope outside of yourself? A natural person could be selfish. It's me, myself and I alone, God understands, that's why God decided to give you to yourself to marry.


When you were born, you were born with two legs, but do you outgrow your legs, whether they are small or big? So, love could be small, yet love is love. In the same manner, have you ever grown tired of your legs that you wished to cut them off before? We are dealing with issues that don't get out of fashion. They don't wear out; they don't get out of relevance. We are dealing with love as the first thing that marriage rests on. There will be no marriage without love, any marriage that remains, remains because love remains. You cannot amputate your legs in marriage, you cannot amputate your love.  You started the relationship because you were in love with that lady, no matter how unbelieving in God you were, when you saw that creature of God, you fell in love. Something told you; she's smiling the way I like; that's how I love my lady to smile. I love my lady to have this complexion, love my lady to think like this, what you're looking for is somebody that can be compatible with you. You began from yourself, and you started asking, can this lady meet my needs? Many marriages break up because after they had started with, I do in love, and the proposals are accepted, the men started falling short of love.


You are behaving like a man who has a leg but chooses to make it unavailable. You're like ‘this is loving the first thing that started this marriage, but I fold it up, let's use the remaining one.’ Marriage cannot survive on one leg, it needs two. It is better you don't have anyone; like no marriage, than you having one leg in marriage. Do you understand? That's how God started it. When the man saw the woman for the first time, he said, “Wonderful! This is somebody like me; this one is not like the birds; she doesn't behave like a crocodile.” ‘This one is different. The height is similar to my height. The complexion is just like my complexion.’


Every marriage; whether good marriage, average marriage, or whatever marriage begins on that leg. But many marriages get amputated. Your marriage will not be amputated in Jesus’ name. In Genesis chapter 3, let us see the second leg of marriage vividly manifested. And I want us to read this place, this chapter with open mind. I want to also crave the indulgence of the female gender not to read it with the lenses of gender activism but rather pay attention to what the Holy Sprit is about to reveal to us here. Now, see what the Bible says:


“Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman…” The serpent said to the woman and we must note that the Scripture was opening us up to a conversation, it didn’t take place between the couple. It took place between the serpent and the woman. The question is: why? We do not know why but let us continue and find out if God was okay with the whole scenario.


“Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden’?” 2 And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat the fruit of the trees of the garden; 3 but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die.’ ”4 Then the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. I am sure you are noticing that the conversation took place between the serpent and the woman and the devil that is the serpent focused on the woman. The serpent made sure that it was just about him and the woman.


5 For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” 6 So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate.”


Please, did you see or hear marriage in this conversation? It was about the woman. Now, if the decision of the woman was restricted to the woman, perhaps, we wouldn't be where we are now discussing this matter. It was a private discussion or decision that had a public impact. That's why it is said about leadership that a leader could make a decision privately, but the consequences of the decision of a leader are publicly felt. You could say, “it's just about me, I'm trying to make a good life for my life.” If you are a leader, even though the decision is made by you secretly, it will impact other people outside of you publicly.


So, when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate.”


The conversation started between the woman and serpent and when she was persuaded and made a decision, her husband who was with her was also introduced to the decision. So, we can see that the woman was such an influential figure that the man did not resist or gainsay. It was as if there was so much wisdom in the wife that made the man say, “wow, this decision you have made on our behalf as marriage is good, and I think, I want to go for it. I want to join you in that decision. I am already influenced by your decision.” 7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked, and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves coverings.” Up to the time the decision was made. It was a personal decision and conversation between the woman and the serpent. But the moment the woman decided on what to do, it became a marital matter, a marriage issue—immediately she gave it to her husband and immediately their eyes as a couple were opened. And as a couple, they decided to clothe themselves, to cover up their nakedness.


8 And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and Adam and his wife hid from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. 9 Then the Lord God called to Adam and said to him, “Where are you?” 10 So he said, “I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked, and I hid myself.”


Did we see that? It started with a solo decision with the wife and became a marriage issue. And when God wanted to deal with the issue, it was a solo conversation with God: “I hid.” 11 And He said, “who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you that you should not eat?” 12 Then the man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.” Their relationship was more of a partnership — they were with each other: companionship. “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate,” I decided to eat it, but she gave it to me. I just accepted her decision. And the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me.” God punished the serpent, and to the woman, He said: “I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; in pain you shall bring forth children; your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.”


If this was existing before would God mention it? That was not existing before. When your wife is made subject to you by God, it is not so that the man can afflict her, but in hope that the man will provide the leadership. God said. “And he shall rule over you.” There is a difference between rulership and a master or slave relationship. For instance, in every kingdom, there is a king, a queen, and many others. The Queen acknowledges that her husband is the king. But the King never subject the wife to the things that other people are subjected to. Do you understand? The King is the ruler over the Queen, but not to the point of afflicting her, ridiculing her; making her look less than who she is because in reality both of them share the throne.


When God said, “He shall rule,” it means he will provide leadership. No more shall the leadership of the marriage be left empty; no more shall it be a matter of who come first or who speaks first. When there is an issue to be decided on, it will not be about who decides first. As a woman even though you decided first, your decision must be subjected to the decision of your husband, that's what God has established. Because in the beginning, when Eve conversed with the serpent, she came to a decision; even though she was the one that came with that decision, as far as the marriage was concerned, that was the decision of the marriage, why? She decided first. I had information, I spoke with somebody, the person shared information with me, and so, that is what we are doing. And the husband feels, since you are the one who decided first for us, your decision is our decision. Do you understand? It's a lazy way of leading.


So that there is no more gap, a leadership gap in marriage, God established an order. He said, “Your desire shall be for your husband, and he will rule over you [he will lead you].” Even though you come up with a fantastic idea, he has to approve it. From that time henceforth, that was the last time God would be punishing a woman for any leadership lapses. Henceforth, it is the man that will be punished, because that's the mystery of leadership. I've shared this with my wife many years ago; I told her that if God tells me to submit to somebody, it's an easy job because the person will be held responsible for many things in my life. It is not whether I eat or drink, but if my life goes wrong, the person will be held responsible.


So, the two of you, you have been at a point where nobody can be said you are the wrong one. The situation was like both of you were wrong, because the leadership was shared among you, but from now, “I will punish him if he misbehaves, if this marriage should fail, he has failed.” Do you now understand what God was doing? Your desire shall be for your husband simply means there is now no more scattered leadership in this marriage. Everything flows to him, and from him, it flows to God. If there is a challenge coming from the marriage to God, God will talk to the man. If there is a challenge coming from God to the marriage, the wife should engage the husband; like “my husband, how come we are not getting blessed in this marriage.” Man will engage God for it. This is a serious issue.


There is no opportunity for any man to be doing shoulder up. It's a dangerous responsibility that we have as men in marriage. No more shall God be punishing wives for the failures of marriages; it will be the husbands. But you know why this will work? It will work because the desire of the woman must be for her husband. She must yearn for her husband and wait on her husband. Do we understand? And when that is done, the husband has no more excuses. The husband cannot say “the reason we failed is that she didn't wait for me; she just went and did it.” Her husband will lead her.


It got so serious at a point in the Bible where God decided an instruction to the people saying, “When a woman who is not married makes a vow to God, the vow does not stand except the father approves it.” “But when a married woman makes a decision, it is not yet seen by God as a final decision until her husband approves it.” So, this is why many women are frustrated because their husbands are approving nothing or they're approving useless things. Things that do not produce life and godliness in their wives, they agree with it. As a man, you don't need to do too much work, just talk to God. Lord, “this is what my wife is worried about or needs, Lord, I thank you because you've heard us.” In the Book of Judges, Manoah prayed a simple prayer, and God was compelled to sending the angel back because God understands what he has instituted. Manoah, even though he was not active in the story, he played a major role. And there were many instances like that in the Bible. When the wife of Isaac was barren, the Bible says, “Isaac pleaded with God because of his wife and God heard him.”


No more shall it be that the marriage collapse because one person makes a decision, let it be that every decision is subjected to approval. As a man, all you may have to do is to just say amen or lay hand on your wife and say you are blessed. You don’t need to do too much work because that is what the angels are waiting for; that's what God is waiting for; your blessing, it is an approval. Bible says, “The promises of God in Christ Jesus, they are yes and amen.” My wife, you will not be a nonentity. Nobody will take your place; you will be blessed. You will be fruitful. When you do like that, you don't need to sweat too much; God will make it happen. But what are we doing instead? We are saying something else, and approving nothing. Knowing that the woman has subjected herself under the instruction of God to your leadership, what do you do with this submission? Are you making her life miserable because she has submitted? If that is what you do, God will judge you. If you make her life little because she submitted, God will judge you. If you make her life great because she submitted, God will judge you. The judgement of God is not negative, it depends on what we have done.


The second leg of marriage that the marriage success rests on is SUBMISSION. Even though the marriage of Adam began with love, if it remains at your love for that woman and the woman refuses to submit, the marriage will not last. Do you know God did not ask the woman in the Bible to love her husband? The reason is because love is a general rule, there would never be marriage without love. A woman is careful not to miss submission because if she submits wrongly, her life can go into bankruptcy. She does not want to lose her life, possession, and destiny by submitting to the wrong man because if you submit to the wrong person as a woman, you will arrive at a wrong destiny.


Ephesians chapter 5 from verses 22-23, “Wives, submit to your husbands” don't submit to the pastor of the church, don't submit to an elder in the church, because this is what many women or wives do. Many wives when they see a man of God who is even younger than them, they say “good morning, daddy.” But their husbands who are older than them in the house, they wouldn’t mind saying, “will you get out of the road don’t you see that I'm coming?” The emphasis is on “wives, submit to your brothers,” is that what the Bible says?”  The Bible says:


 22 Wives, submit to your husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their husbands in everything.


A woman is not expected to submit to men. You are expected to submit to your husband. Don't look at a woman and say, “are you not a woman, can't you submit to me?” She's not your wife. She can't submit it to you. God didn't say, “Eve, your desire shall be for men, and they shall rule over you.” God said, “Your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you.” A woman is not miserable because she's a woman and she is a victim of molestation and domination by men. No! There are tough women that when you look at them in the eyes, you see fire, but when they get home, they are lovely. Hallelujah. Do you understand?


As a woman, don't look at yourself that God has created me to just do follow, follow, follow. No, no, no, no, it is your husband, and it is because of your marriage, and the reason it is like that is because of the purpose of your marriage. There is something your marriage must fulfil, lest there is misdirection and the thing becomes like a master with two heads; God will hold your husband responsible for the destiny of your marriage. But as far as you are concerned in society as a woman, please, be involved and fulfil your destiny. ‘Don't be saying no, I can't talk, I'm in the midst of men.’ That's not what God has created for us. There are even some women that are more mentally sound, they have more courage than men. So, what do you do to a woman who is more courageous and the man is behaving like a vegetable? Will you now tell such a woman to submit to the men because they are living in the same area or they are in the same church or whatever? No! There's a destiny that a woman must fulfil.


You don't go about telling other men’s wives to do this or do that. You don't have jurisdiction over the wives of others. You only have it over your wife. The president of the USA cannot come to Nigeria and start telling Nigerians to jump up and down because Nigerians are not citizens of his country. If you are a woman and a man is trying to order you around as if you are his subject or wife, you have the right to refute because you are not a citizen of his kingdom. He is not the king over your life. Now, lest we think this thing is skewed towards one side, you know brother Paul was a very tough brother, he has said “wives submit.” He said further:


25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.


Even though so much can be said from here, we will not go into to. At or leisure time, let us study that portion of the Scripture. Verse 33 says: Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Now, for emphasis’s sake, let us go back to verse 26-27. We can see that the church was not without blemish or spotless at the beginning, the church was a lot of issues, but Christ has a mission for the church. His mission is to present the church unto God without a spot. So, you could as a man marry a woman who has spot issues. So, if all you do is just carry a chair and be complaining about all her issues, you will die early complaining about issues. That's not your assignment. Your assignment is washing her; ‘that He might sanctify and cleanse her: sanctify her and make her consecrated.’ (My wife, you are not like every other woman in society, you are different, I make you the queen of my life.) And cleanse her with the washing of water by the word” not by insults but the word.


The best word is not your word, it is the Word of God. So, what has God said, is it what you are saying? If you say what God has said, your wife will be changing right in front of you. You don't need to be saying, ‘God, why me now; I was thinking you are going to give me a perfect wife, the perfect woman.’ Even the most beautiful woman in the world has the ugliest issues that you can ever imagine. When possible, you can go and ask anybody that has dated her, they will tell you the issues they're going through. What is expected of you is to use the Word to wash her. You may marry a woman that may not tell to you she dislikes insult, but that's what she wants. You can't keep bringing her down every day, yet expect her to be up. Let your words be such that build up, edifies not the ones that break down; that gives no hope.


I bless God for my wife, whatever she does not want me to do when I'm 90, she does not allow me to do it even when I'm small, because once I start, I might not stop it. If a man starts insulting his wife, it started with he was not happy, and he will continue. There is no day your wife cooks that the salt is not too much. Even when the salt is not too much you will still say it is too much; the complaint becomes a habit. Do you understand? God didn't create you to just be complaining. Just imagine a man that just says to His wife, “my wife, this food that is never done every day, I think there's something we can do about it. I'm coming to the kitchen today. How many minutes do you normally allow it to boil?” and the wife responded, “30 minutes.” And the husband said, “Let us allow it to do 40 minutes, and let’s see what happens.” You've washed her with the word. You're not complaining this time around, but telling her what should be done. That's leadership.


Before you start complaining, my wife, you don't know how to do that; you don't have to do this. Can you tell her one or two or three times how to do it if she doesn't get it after three times then you pray to God about it? A man who is a leader who knows that God will judge him for whatever happens to that woman in the marriage must understand that there is a need for direction. Don't become the complainer in chief in your marriage, be the Commander in Chief. Let the command be in words that build up, that educate, not such that break down.


In 1 Timothy chapter 3 from verses 1 to 13, see what the Bible says, “If anyone desires the office of the bishop, he desires a good thing. He must be a husband of one wife, and let him have his house in subjection and the children in obedience, they should listen to him.”  If you want to become a man of God, the condition is that your marriage must be correct. Be a husband of one wife, love her. It is difficult to love things that are plenty in your life, but easy to love things that are precious and scarce. Imagine that you have eyes everywhere in your body, you will not care when one is bad, you could tell yourself, “After all, I have many”. But when you have only one, you protect it. No matter how you respect me, you won’t allow me to come close to your eyes. That's it.


So, when a man loves his wife, he loves his wife because the wife is one. Having done that, the Bible says, “Your wife should be in submission to you, and your children should be people that behave well.” That is a leadership condition for the church. You want to become a leader among God's people, have a good marriage. Let your marriage be on the two legs of love and submission. It will show in your children. When your wife submits to you and you love your wife, your children will behave well. When you do this, you are worthy of receiving responsibility in the church. If you cannot make your wife submit to you, and your children are not behaving well, how can you manage or lead in the house of God?


As a man, you have a responsibility under God: the responsibility of love, you can never love too much — if you are going to die in your marriage, let it be that you die the death of love. In like manner, if you are going to die in your marriage as a woman, die the death of submission. But if the husband because of the submission of the wife leads her to death, God will judge him. What God has ordained is that “Wives submit to their husbands the way the church submits to Christ.” In our submission to Christ, we don’t withdraw our lives back because we suddenly meet death. We are submissive to death. And as a man, you must love until death. Let nothing bring you apart.


There is no marriage doesn’t have issues, but these legs sustain them. There was a time I was listening to a message by Pastor E.A. Adeboye. I think he was traveling along Lagos-Ibadan express way many years ago. Along the trip, there was a disagreement between him and his wife and he just parked the car on the expressway and he started walking away. He had walked away from the car and the Holy Spirit began to touch him: “you left your wife alone there; it is not good. What if something has happened to her, go back to your wife.” As he was walking back again, he aw here they were selling fruits, bought some, brought them to the wife in the car and he started driving back. So, there is no marriage that does not have issues. The same thing that happened to pastor Adeboye at the time, if it were to happen to other marriages who aren’t standing on these two legs, it would have led to divorce.


But these things happen to countless other marriages and they are still together. So, what were they surviving on? It is because there is love and there is submission. I cannot emphasis these things too much, let us just go to the Holy Spirit. If you are married, go to the Holy Spirit. If you're a man, just know your job is simple, you have to love her till death do you part. And if you're a woman, you're to submit to him until death does you apart. If you can do this, it will become difficult for the devil to stop the purpose of God in your marriage. The marriage is bigger than the couple individually. There is a bigger picture; the marriage is bigger than the man or the woman.


There is a purpose that individually we cannot fulfil until we are married. Now, that we are married, it is only the devil that doesn't want the two legs to remain. He wants the legs to be amputated due to accidents of life: emotional accident, financial accident, he wants the submission to be amputated. Some marriages were okay until the man lost his job; since there was no more money coming into the family through the man, the woman stopped submission. “I cannot submit to a man who cannot take care of me”, for the Bible says, “A man that cannot care for his family is worse than an unbeliever.” And the man is like, I just lost a job, there is hope for a tree if it be cut down that it would spring again at the scent of water.


What has happened? The devil due to financial amputation, has cut off one leg. Our prayer is that my marriage will never be amputated in Jesus’ name. I will never be a victim of the devil. My husband will not be a victim of the devil, my wife will not be a victim of the devil. My marriage will not be a victim of an attack. The enemy will attack, but we will not become a victim in Jesus’s name!


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Article Tags: 2, Legs, Hold Up, Sustain, Effective Marriage, Marriage, Relationship, Husband, Wife, Man, Woman
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Gboyega AdedejiAbout Gboyega Adedeji
Gboyega Adedeji Gboyega AdedejiGboyega AdedejiGboyega AdedejiGboyega Adedeji

Mentored By Jesus Christ | Writer | Inspiring Speaker | Publisher | Coach | Builder | FOUNDER @ Fridayposts, Hubpile, Witicles| President/CEO at Centre for New Dimension Leadership | Entrepreneur | Husband & Father. Engaging me will change you!

I am a Nigerian and an Ambassador of Christ sent to Nigeria for the cause of His Kingdom. By divine-making, I read, teach and speak. I am a Dad to my children and a husband to my lovely wife Omolara. Simply, I am a Writer, Teacher, Coach, Leadership Developer, Conference Speaker and Publisher among others. I am a Creative Managing Partner at kpInspirationals, a media outfit based in Abuja. For more about me, Visit my profile page on Webnigerians, Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn

. Call Gboyega at +2347033823104 to see how he can help you & your business succeed!

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The 2 Legs that Hold Up and Sustain Effective Marriages: What Most Marriages Start With But Many Lose OvertimeThe 2 Legs that Hold Up and Sustain Effective Marriages: What Most Marriages Start With But Many Lose OvertimeThe 2 Legs that Hold Up and Sustain Effective Marriages: What Most Marriages Start With But Many Lose Overtime

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