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Boundaries: A Reason For Failure In Marriage
By Lara Gboyega Adedeji Mar 30, 2015
In every relationship there are boundaries of different types and forms. There are boundaries of the past, present and the future and there are boundaries that are visible and invisible. Boundaries are not necessarily good or bad but they are key to the success or failure of relationships across boards. Boundaries exists as long as relationship exists. Boundaries are as dynamic as relationships are dynamic in nature, form and content. The dynamism of each individual make up for the dynamism of relationships across the world.
In this piece, we will be looking together at how boundaries are crucial to the success of any relationship, be it social, political, economic or spiritual in nature. But along the line, we will narrow it down to social relationship and marriage in particular. Boundaries are set limits which are consciously or unconsciously set by individuals or group of individuals in relation to a thing, person or persons.
Relationships have boundaries, which can be visible or invisible in nature. Boundaries are sourced from information or knowledge from the past, present or future. These boundaries can be positive or negative, depending on the person who set it and in relation to who or what. To be successful in any relationship, you have to understand the boundaries of such relationship, in relation to the source of the boundary and full understanding of the person(s) that is setting such boundary.
In marriage, boundaries exist between the husband and wife. It will be illusional for a man or woman to think, there are no issues in the past or fear in the present or future that have made your spouse to build either a wall of defense or a shadow of fear around such issues. This wall or valley might be visible or invisible, depending on the peculiarity of the issue and the sensitivity nature of such. You must come to identify and understand such boundaries, and come to the point of understanding the reason for it in relation to the person in question. A step forward in this is how to deal with the boundary set. You either try to mitigate it, transfer it, avoid it or accept it.
To deal with boundaries, you have to have information, full understanding of the issues surrounding it, before you can mitigate it. When this is not possible, you can you see through the other three options. Remember, some marriages have hit the rocks of poor boundaries and did not survive. The reason for this series is for you to stop, and fix it early.
I believe we have been able to communicate effectively with you over the five topics treated so far on sex, money, communication, selfishness and this piece on boundaries. Read our next article on understanding; another reason for failure in marriage. Till then keep learning and growing in the truth!